My mother arrived for the holidays with her usual overly sweet and fake demeanor, and I noticed her “helping” a little too much, especially around my husband, Brian. One night, I found her on his phone, and she quickly hung up, claiming she was calling her sister. What she didn’t know was that Brian’s phone automatically records outgoing calls for work documentation.
The next morning, I listened to the recording and was shocked to discover she had been on the phone with my ex-boyfriend, Darren. On the call, she told him that I was miserable, that Brian was too “soft,” and that Darren was the one for me. She was actively trying to sabotage my marriage by arranging for my ex to meet me at the bakery Brian and I had opened together.
This was not the first time she had tried to tear down something good in my life. This time, however, I decided to not confront her directly. Instead, I told Brian everything and we made a plan. I went to the bakery on Friday as planned, and sure enough, my ex showed up. He tried to charm me, but I immediately told him I was not still in love with him, and my husband’s name came up in conversation, causing his face to fall. Darren left with his tail between his legs just as Brian walked in.
That night, I confronted my mother in the guest room, playing the recording. She was furious, but I calmly told her she was being kicked out for trying to destroy my marriage. She stormed out, but I didn’t feel guilty. For the first time, I felt free. A few weeks later, my estranged father called to tell me he was proud of me. He confessed that my mother had done the same thing to him, tearing him down until he believed he was holding me back.
Weeks later, my mother sent me a handwritten letter. She didn’t apologize directly, but she admitted she had been cruel and bitter. She said she was going to therapy. It wasn’t a full apology, but it was a start. I learned that love without respect is not love at all, and by choosing peace over chaos, I had finally chosen myself.