It started with a rum cake on the floor of a college party — and two people who, instead of walking away, laughed and shared it. That moment of shared silliness sparked a love story that has lasted nearly seven decades.
She’s Arlene Alda — a talented photographer and musician — and her husband is Alan Alda, the legendary actor known for his role as Hawkeye Pierce on M AS H*. For 68 years, she’s stood beside him, not in the spotlight, but in the quiet, steady way that defines true partnership.
Now, as Alan faces the daily challenges of Parkinson’s disease, her support has become more vital than ever.
Long before any tremors or stiffness appeared, the warning came at night.
Alan had a vivid dream where he was being attacked. In his sleep, he fought back — hurling what he thought was a sack of potatoes at the intruder.
In reality, he had thrown a pillow at Arlene.
The moment stuck with him. Later, he read a New York Times article by health writer Jane Brody, which mentioned that acting out dreams could be an early sign of Parkinson’s. He brought the article to his doctor and insisted on a brain scan — even though he had no obvious symptoms.
In 2015, the diagnosis came: Parkinson’s disease.
But because he acted early, he gained precious time — not to stop the disease, but to fight it with everything he had.
Alan didn’t retreat. He doubled down.
He built a rigorous routine: boxing two to three times a week, tennis, stationary biking, tai chi, juggling, and marching. He turned his body into a weapon against the disease.
“I’m feeling good and charging ahead,” he said. “Doing everything I can to slow it down — and it can be slowed.”
He’s been vocal about his journey, urging others not to give in to despair after diagnosis.
“Your life isn’t over,” he’s said. “You can hold off the worst for a long time — if you stay active, stay engaged.”
Parkinson’s is a progressive neurological disorder that affects movement, balance, and muscle control. Common signs include:
- Bradykinesia – slowed movements
- Resting tremors – shaking even at rest
- Rigidity – stiff muscles, sometimes with a jerky “cogwheel” feel
- Postural instability – difficulty with balance and walking
But it’s not just physical. It can affect sleep, mood, memory, and even the ability to recognize faces — a condition Alan also lives with, called prosopagnosia.
Yet, despite these challenges, he continues to work, speak, and create. His 2004 Oscar nomination for The Aviator proved his talent remained sharp — and so has his spirit.
Even in a recent Netflix series, his Parkinson’s tremors were visible — but so was his humor, grace, and professionalism.
Their story began in 1956 in New York City. He was a witty college student; she was a brilliant, quick-witted woman with a passion for music and art.
When a rum cake fell on the floor at a party, most people hesitated. But Alan and Arlene didn’t. They picked it up and ate it — laughing the whole time.
“I knew she was the one,” Alan said. “She laughed at my jokes, and we both ate cake off the floor. That’s when I knew.”
They married in 1957 and built a life together — raising three daughters, supporting each other’s careers, and sharing a deep, equal partnership.
Arlene never faded into the background. She built her own legacy as a photographer and author, while always being his anchor.
Now in their late 80s and early 90s, their days are shaped by routine, adaptation, and love.
Alan starts each morning with exercise — anything to keep his body and mind moving. Simple tasks like tying shoelaces have become puzzles, but he approaches them with humor.
“It’s like playing violin with mittens on,” he says. “But if I keep trying, I solve it — and then I feel like a million bucks.”
Arlene helps with small things — opening jars, offering patience when his hands don’t cooperate. He thanks her constantly.
“She’s so good-natured about it,” he says. “I’m always saying, ‘Thank you.’”
When asked what makes him happiest, his answer is simple:
“Laughing with my wife.”
They play chess, tend to their lawn (Alan famously chases geese off the grass), and record podcast episodes together.
They don’t claim to have a magic formula.
“The secret to marriage is a short memory,” Arlene says with a smile.
Alan adds:
“We try to be present when we’re together — listening, caring, paying attention. Even the Pope and Mother Teresa would have to work it out if they were married.”
Their love hasn’t been perfect — it’s been real.
It’s been built on laughter, resilience, and showing up — every single day.
And as Parkinson’s changes their world, one thing remains unchanged:
They’re still in it — together.