Son: “Dad, why are some of your hairs turning white?”
Father: “Every time you tell a lie, one of my hairs turns white.”
Son: “Oh… now I understand why Grandpa’s hair is completely white.”
A teacher asks her students what they want to be when they grow up.
Jimmy: “A pilot.”
Willy: “A doctor.”
Mary: “A good mother.”
Johnny: “I want to help Mary.”
At a Catholic school cafeteria, children were standing in line.
At the beginning, there was a large pile of apples with a note: “Take only one. God is watching.”
Further down, there was a tray of chocolate chip cookies.
One child whispered, “Take as many as you want. God is busy watching the apples.”
A young girl was talking about whales with her teacher.
Teacher: “Physically, a whale can’t swallow a human because its throat is too small.”
Girl: “But Jonah was swallowed by a whale.”
The teacher insisted it wasn’t possible.
Girl: “When I get to Heaven, I’ll ask Jonah.”
Teacher: “What if Jonah went to hell?”
Girl: “Then you can ask him.”
A seven-year-old boy was sitting on a park bench eating chocolate.
A man next to him said, “Eating too much chocolate is bad for your health.”
Boy: “My great-grandfather lived to be 105.”
Man: “And did he eat a lot of chocolate?”
Boy: “No. He minded his own business.”
At a toy store, Peter picked out a toy car and paid with Monopoly money.
Cashier: “Are you serious? That’s not real money!”
Peter: “And the car isn’t real either.”
A young boy came home crying.
Mother: “What happened? Why are you upset?”
Boy: “I got punished for something I didn’t do.”
Mother: “What was it?”
Boy (through tears): “My homework.”