If your relationship with your adult child isn’t as strong as you’d like, therapists say there are several key steps to improve it:
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Hold back unsolicited advice. Ask if they want guidance or just a listening ear. Treat your role as a trusted adviser, not a director of their life.
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Show faith in their abilities. Trust that they can handle challenges. Listen, support, and help them find their own solutions rather than trying to fix everything yourself.
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Focus on repair, not blame. Avoid finger-pointing. Apologize for past hurts and commit to doing better in the future. Therapy can help if needed.
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Do a relationship check-in. Ask how they feel about your connection and what works or doesn’t. This shows you’re open to feedback and willing to adjust.
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Respect their feelings. Don’t tell them how to feel or dismiss their experiences. Listen to their emotions first, rather than focusing on correcting details.
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Honor boundaries. If they set limits—physical or emotional—respect them and encourage them for communicating their needs.
Following these habits can help build a stronger, healthier bond with your grown child.