Late one night, a tired Marine rolled into a quiet town searching for a place to sleep. Every hotel was full—until the last, a crooked little inn, offered a room already occupied by a snoring sailor.
“No problem,” the Marine said, taking the key.
The next morning, he came down refreshed and smiling. When the manager asked how he slept through the snoring, the Marine grinned: he had leaned over, kissed the sailor on the cheek, and said, “Goodnight, beautiful.” After that, the sailor stayed awake all night watching him.
Elsewhere, a devoted blonde nun prayed for the world. God appeared, offering her any wish. She asked Him to erase all blonde jokes, sparing her and others from the stereotype.
God granted it—and added a final, humorous twist when she confessed her real complaint: “The M&M’s are too hard to peel.” Heaven fell silent.
It keeps the two main vignettes, the humor, and the clever punchlines while cutting unnecessary detail.
If you want, I can also make an even snappier, one-paragraph version combining both stories. Do you want me to do that?