For the past ten years, I’ve worked offshore, three months at a time, enduring long shifts, harsh weather, and relentless exhaustion—all to provide for my family. My wife and I have two daughters, Emma, nine, and Lily, six. Every time I left, I sent her extra money—sometimes $8,000 a month—so she could live comfortably, hire help, and enjoy herself, trusting her completely.
At first, it seemed reasonable: spa weekends, trips with friends. But over the past year, the requests grew more extravagant—girls’ trips, a yacht outing—while I labored at sea. I paid, telling myself she deserved it.
Then, three weeks ago, I managed to return home early as a surprise. Instead of excitement or hugs, I was met with chaos: a house smelling of rotting garbage, dirty dishes, flies, and clothes that weren’t ours scattered everywhere. Empty wine bottles and a city noise notice were out in plain sight. My daughters were nowhere to be found.
From the backyard, I heard her laughing: “He has no clue. He just sends the money and never asks questions. I told you, this is the life.”
Panicked, I drove to my mother-in-law’s house—where my daughters had been living like “usual.” They were safe, happy, and unaware of how far things had gone.
When I confronted my wife, she blamed me: that I abandoned her for three months, that I didn’t understand her pressure, that my job choice forced her into this life.
I cut off the extra money, moved our accounts to require joint approval, and brought my daughters home during my off weeks, arranging trusted childcare when I return offshore.
She insists I’m overreacting, calling it “stress,” but I can’t forget her words in the backyard: “He has no clue.”
Now I’m left questioning everything—the trust, the deception, and the reality that I may have been funding a life I wasn’t part of. I’m torn between seeking therapy and walking away. Part of me still loves her, but another part knows I’ve been paying for a life I was never invited into.